My Stories/Non Poems

Deep Dark Gothic Poetry

My Stories/Non Poems

This page is where I will share my stories I have written or anything else that should bleed out my darkened soul that doesnt really fit into poetry.

Walking Away From Murdering Myself.

Today I woke up, and when I got out of bed, I began to cry. For when I looked down I was still laying there.

Have you ever had an out of the body experience?

I than look and see dripping from my wrists all the pain that has been building up released after 11 years of sorrow.

Ever wished you could undo something you did?

I saw on my face tears still falling and eyes still blinking.

Could this actually be happening to me?

I glance down and see my wrists are open both me laying on my bed and me standing above myself.

How could I have done this to myself?

Im still breathing though my eyes are blinking theres hope. I cant still save myself. I cry out to myself.

Where are the words when I try to speak?

I cant hear myself, my shouts to cover my wrists to dial 911. Please another chance No not like this.

What happens when you are too late to save yourself?

Tears now flowing like a waterfall. I see my lips open and hear myself say...I take it back, I just take it.....

.... I say .... and this is the end of my life?

I close my eyes and see my body laying before me motionless. I feel my cheeks getting wet.

And now I can shed more tears for the loss of myself how is this?

I reach and touch my face to see the tears are made of blood and not from my wrists.

God can you ever forgive me for what I have done?

I hear a voice say to me. "You were a suicide, sorry to say but there is nothing for you now.

Have you ever felt in what you feel u are alone?

I see a tunnel with a fading light and turn...

Walking Away From Murdering Myself.

Seeing all this regret, do you now think, you should give up on life?

"Life Unsolved Death Granted"

(ok I dont know the real purpose to this but feedback is welcome..)

At the beginning the moment we are born we start to die, so is true of all else in life.

In life what we do determines what happens, fate our own to decide. So its true in order to span time we must build bridges into the future. To do so we must use stones from the past, however if we use every stone from the past we are destined to relive our pasts and there can be no real future.

The real purpose in life for many is to experience some sense of meaning or belonging. We cannot on our own usually acheive or attain this goal/desire. Many require there to be some real purpose. A real goal is acieved by often a love interest or significant other, we aspire for affection some sense of connection to the one we have given our heart to. So its true that in life we are mortally by nature afraid to be alone hence that one desire to have "love". I myself thought I had found "love", but like all else in my life have lost it. It has eluded me as it will always and forever/ Its my personal believe that true love can be found, and lost. That sometimes some of us are meant to spend eternity alone and without a true "love" to "be with".

A sense of pain can often inspire some of us to protest the idea of longevity and to attain a goal of self destruction and torture that can overtime bring us to overcome ourselves with much personal thought. As Dreams are praised and nightmares damned, Those that cause the self harm fall into the second by moral standards and by societys as well. I myself having endured 12 years of mutilating myself as well as other things know of this sorrow all too personally. In spending so many years in sorrow I have filled my life with it made it the Sun in the universe that is my everything. Though I still battle the pain and depression, I still hold true that sometimes its easier to treat the emotional with physical. No im not praising cutting yourself, but Im saying I understand. Though there are alternatives. Lately for me the alternative has been, well walking in the woods alone, writing again, attempting to draw...lol, and music. I cant say honestly that I will never cut, burn, push 24 needles into my wrists again but for now it all seems to be working. I ask myself often should I attempt a relationship with God again? Than though I cannot say I truely feel even God can help me be he or she or whatever if anything there may be. To simply put it each and every life has some meaning some purpose though it may not seem clear, or ever be clear to we ourselves, it may seem to others though like a clear blue sky.

Well look at your life now, try to picture the future no matter how hard or difficult it may seem...if your sad take that out..whatever may cause discomfort take it out, and hold to that dream and vision and strive for it. If you fail at least you tried, for all we can do in life is try, we should never give up as hard as it is for me to type its true.

Look back and see if you can figure out the capitol letters that make words and form the statement.

Heres a clue: _._ _._ _._._ _._._._ >